I recently woke up to the reality that I had stopped dreaming. Somewhere between now and then I’d lost my hold on looking toward the future. I was emptied out by this normal life, and in the void, I rediscovered my calling.
There’s this cluster of words in an ancient text that I’ve heard most of my life, and have read over and over. These words are like fresh grapes on a vine and people use them to comfort others or to remind others that God gives you things to pick. These words, up until recently, have always seemed as fruit for me to consume.
“and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
There’s a few words before those, and they go like this…
“Delight in Him,”
My entire life has been a sequence of pursuit. I’ve set my eyes and heart on the desires of my heart, and when I was running up on a hurdle I would ask God to give me the desires of my heart. I used that cluster of word, from the ancient book of Psalms, like it was written for me.
And in a way it was written for me, and for you, because it’s truth for thriving in this life. But, on that day when I woke up to my emptied out heart void of dreams to chase, something fresh took root deep within my soul.
I had no choices left. The only option for me was to fall below that cluster and rest in the dirt while The Vine of Words covered me from a false reality. I look up at it and saw newness growing. I saw truth differently.
“Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
I had been anchoring my delight in my desires.
On that day, and still today, I am asking God to fill my hear with His desires. It’s gone beyond asking and shifted into craving. My existence as a joyful, present, purposeful human rests under these words of truth. Because, what else is there in life than to live delighted, in Him. That is my calling.